You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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