if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
