I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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