I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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