Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
