I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
