Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want to make out with him forever
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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