He told me they were just razor bumps!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
