If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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