...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
