Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize