she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
