I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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