Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize