I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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