3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
