i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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