You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm too high and old for this...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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