I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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