Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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