I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
