So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
