Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
