Don't make out with my wife yet
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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