If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
