You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The power of my boobs compel you
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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