my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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