can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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