Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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