Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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