Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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