that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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