you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize