i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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