our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
