he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
