Non-Jews are for practice
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
