Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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