i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Everyone says I win the strip club
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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