He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
