i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro