id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"