i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
