i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I forget how to act sober
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
