apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
