mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
