well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
did i walk over a car last night?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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