a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
