Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
