D3 body, D1 cock
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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