pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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