K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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