a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
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Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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