Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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