Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This is the high leading the old right now
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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