The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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