$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
