So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
