i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
