Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
