Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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