He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
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Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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