do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
