Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
