well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
