My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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