I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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