i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
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